{"id":2666,"date":"2013-05-10T19:23:11","date_gmt":"2013-05-10T19:23:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/?p=2666"},"modified":"2013-11-11T01:15:51","modified_gmt":"2013-11-11T01:15:51","slug":"my-easter-touch-with-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/2013\/05\/my-easter-touch-with-god\/","title":{"rendered":"My Easter touch with God"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not sure why I haven’t told many people about this experience.\u00a0 The only thing I can come up with is that it was one of the most profoundly personal and spiritual moments of my life.\u00a0 I guess something about that truth hits you hard and makes you protect it more.\u00a0 I’m ready to share now.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Easter Sunday.\u00a0 We all know how I feel about Easter.\u00a0 Most magical, spiritual, redemptive and important day of the year.\u00a0 This Easter was extra special for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

My\u00a0whole family unit was in church together on Easter Sunday.\u00a0 I came to church armed with snacks and books and a few quiet toys for the kids hoping they would stay occupied and relatively quiet through the service.\u00a0 This time my need for their silence was more about my need to hear the Word and be in worship than about making sure others around me weren’t annoyed by my kids.\u00a0 During worship I took turns holding one kid in the aisle so we could sing, dance, and watch Mark (our worship leader and one of Reed’s favorite people).\u00a0 There was a lady across the aisle who was worshipping with her family.\u00a0 She kept turning around to watch us.\u00a0 (I figured she was just noticing how cute my kids looked, because boy did they look cute!)<\/p>\n

Fast forward to the end of the service.\u00a0 I repeated my strategy of taking the kids to the aisle one at a time to finish the service.\u00a0 At the very end I was holding Ali (and let’s be honest, I was a little teary because Easter service and the song “Paid it All” slay me every single time) and I noticed the same lady just watching us.\u00a0 She wasn’t even trying to be discreet.\u00a0 Again, I patted my self on the back for dressing my kids so cutely and that they behaved\u00a0through the whole\u00a0church service.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When the service ended she made a bee line for me.\u00a0 She wrapped her arms around me and gave me the most sincere and genuine hug.\u00a0 She spoke into my ear and said, ‘I am a complete stranger and you don’t know me.\u00a0 I have been watching you this whole morning and I just want you to know that there is the MOST INCREDIBLE light shining directly onto you.’\u00a0 She continued\u00a0to tell me that she has never in her life seen anything so pure, and holy in her life.\u00a0 She said, ‘these words are not mine.\u00a0 I was told to come speak to you and tell you how special and important you are.\u00a0 Jesus is literally shining his light on you and I can’t take my eyes off of it.’\u00a0 (Obviously I was crying terribly by this point, but then she did something even more amazing).\u00a0 She took Alison’s hand, looked her in the face, and said to her ‘you have one amazing Momma.\u00a0 I want you to know that.’\u00a0 Those last words hit me so hard because in this mothering world we have such a tendency to focus all of our pride and sense of accomplishment on our kids.\u00a0 In the midst of that we sometimes need to be reminded that WE are God’s children.\u00a0 He doesn’t want to let that be buried in our constant need to mother the little ones.\u00a0 We are still so worthy of his love, grace and mercy.<\/p>\n

This moment meant more to me than I will ever be able to describe.\u00a0 I am not a writer and I won’t pretend to be one.\u00a0 Let me just say that in that holiest of moments I felt the presence of God in a way I have never felt before or since.\u00a0 I know she was speaking truth when she stated that these weren’t her words.\u00a0 I could literally hear God speaking through her.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Randy came over shortly after because he watched the whole scene unfold but couldn’t hear anything.\u00a0 He was floored once he heard the story.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Little did I know, I think God was trying to prepare me for a time of spiritual warfare that would follow in the days following Easter.\u00a0 I don’t know if anyone else has felt the kind of warfare I am referring to, but it is so intense and so specific.\u00a0 Once you are aware of what is happening there is no question that it is spiritual warfare.\u00a0 I have been through it before so luckily I was able to notice what was happening the 4 or 5 days after Easter.\u00a0 I truly believe God was giving me a tool, or a weapon if you will,\u00a0to fight the enemy.\u00a0 Several times in the week after Easter I reflected on the words she spoke to me and the peace and light I felt in that moment.\u00a0 I know this reflection helped me to fight the battle at hand.<\/p>\n

Why do I bring this up now?\u00a0 Well, I can feel another episode of spiritual warfare inside of myself.\u00a0 The last 2 days have been hard.\u00a0 The enemy chooses to attack me by telling me I am not enough.\u00a0 ‘I’m not a good employee, I’m not a good mother, I’m not a good friend or sister or daughter, and most of all…why do I think I can accomplish the things in life I want to accomplish?\u00a0 Who do I think\u00a0I am?\u00a0 Am I better than others?\u00a0 Why can’t you just accept that you are mediocre at best and definitely not a loved and cherished child of God?’\u00a0 These thoughts are literally thrust into my brain and I can.not.escape.\u00a0 No matter\u00a0what I do.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Last night I was laying in bed trying to fight off the enemy and these hateful thoughts.\u00a0 Usually when this happens I just pray for help.\u00a0 I don’t have any\u00a0intellectual words to say or anything other than ‘please\u00a0help me!’.\u00a0\u00a0Last night\u00a0I was blessed with the memory\u00a0of\u00a0my Easter story.\u00a0 All I remember before falling asleep was the light from that church service.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have no idea why I’m sharing this.\u00a0 I really don’t.\u00a0 I just needed to document it somewhere.\u00a0 I’m sure all 3 of the people who read this blog\u00a0have stopped reading by now, but thanks for hearing me out.\u00a0 If you think of it, pray for me.\u00a0 Pray that this Mother’s Day I will beat this battle and stop feeling like such a failure in all that I do.\u00a0 I know I’m not a failure.\u00a0 It’s all a lie.\u00a0 But it’s the worst kind of lie that I\u00a0alone can’t shut down.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not sure why I haven’t told many people about this experience.\u00a0 The only thing I can come up with is that it was one of the most profoundly personal and spiritual moments of my life.\u00a0 I guess something about that truth hits you hard and makes you protect it more.\u00a0 I’m ready to share […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-julie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2666"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2668,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666\/revisions\/2668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2666"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2666"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.randybaldwin.com\/family\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2666"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}