I have not written this post until today although I have had it in my head since Christmas.  There are a myriad of reasons, but most of all I wasn’t brave enough to take this blog in ‘that’ direction.  Up until today this blog has been a place to post pictures of my family that I love so dearly and to journal about the events of our life together.  This has been driving me crazy since day one for 2 reasons.  1. We use Facebook for that.  Anytime I post a picture on this blog it feels redundant because we have probably already posted the same picture on FB.  It’s easier and faster to post there.  2. The blog feels like homework.  It feels like something we are ‘supposed’ to keep up with, but writing posts doesn’t bring me joy.  In this busy life if I don’t enjoy doing something, it doesn’t get done.

So what the heck does ‘Intentional’ mean anyway.  Intentional is my New Year’s resolution.  It is more than a resolution though, it is a conscious change that I hope to make this year that will last the rest of my life.  Simply put: I want to be more intentional about how I spend every moment of my life.  When I am at work I want to be intentional about the work to be done, when I am at home with my children I want to focus on them and molding them into the kind, respectful and responsible children I want them to be.  I also need to focus on honoring Randy the way he should be honored as my husband and the father of my children.  I want to be intentional about my relationship with God.  I need to make time EVERY DAY for Him.  Too often this falls to the back burner and it should be the first thing on my list everyday.

I have hesitated to take the blog posts deeper, because it isn’t comfortable.  It isn’t fun to write about things you struggle with.  It isn’t pretty to write things that hurt or discuss the ways that God moments ‘mess you up’.  I hope I will have the guts to follow through.  I hope my ‘resolution’ will be a life changing process.  I pray that I can lead my children to a life filled with love for others and for Jesus.  I don’t want to drop them off at Sunday school and hope that someone else can teach them for me.  They need to learn from Randy and from me.  I pray that they will learn how a married couple should love and respect each other and consequently want to love their future spouse the same way.  I learned about love from my parents and have modeled many parts of our relationship after them.

There you have it.  I have every intention of still posting the pretty entries about how much I love my kids and husband and how much fun we have together.  But I also hope to step out of my comfort zone and dig a little deeper.