I gotta say that this first appoint was a complete letdown. Yes, we ARE pregnant, but the entire doctor’s office experience was less than pleasant.

We showed up right on time, checked-in at the desk, and then waited… for about 20 minutes. There was only one other patient in the waiting room. Julie did a urine test right away and the nurse told us everything we already knew from our own research: Yes, we are pregnant, and have been for about 5 weeks. The nurse said that there was a chance that the doctor would do a sonogram and probably a culture, but we would have to wait and find out from him.

So, we waited… and waited… and waited some more. Thirty minutes later… we waited a bit more. At 40 minutes the doctor FINALLY came in, appologized that he had two deliveries to make. He then asked if we had any questions and said he would wait to take any more tests for another 2 weeks. ARE YOU KIDDING?

We both understood that our visit was one of the most routine and least important of his responsibilities… we get that. What was so frustrating is that the whole visit could have been avoided with a little questioning by the staff when we set up the appointment to see if it was even necessary. The visit provided no more value to us than a $20 pregnancy test at CVS and a little research on the internet.

Needless to say, we were very letdown when we left and only felt mildly validated by their information.

So, there you have it… WE’RE PREGNANT!!

-RB

Our mouths have been zipped-shut to the outside world since we found out. Nobody has a clue!! As a result, we both feel like we are living the same dream at the same time… it doesn’t feel “real” yet. Not until we crack the silence for the very first time and the excitement carries the moment will it feel like this is really happening to us.

Tomorrow morning is our first doctor’s appointment. I’m quite sure that we are going to be busting at the seams with excitement of our own once the doctor validates the two pregnancy tests that Julie has taken this week. (I asked her to take another one last Saturday night, 7/12. Apparently the second one came back positive AMAZINGLY fast!)

“Mums the word” again tomorrow night at bible study. We seem to be doing well so far from giving away any clues in conversations, but after tomorrow’s appointment, it could be rough. To top it off, Ryan and Caroline from our bible study will be delivering their baby, Megan, on Wednesday afternoon!

There are babies all around us!! We are just fortunate that God has blessed us with this pregnancy at a time where there is more than enough support around us to rely on.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s doctor report…

-RB

Oh how it sucks to have something to shout to the world… and not be able to tell it!!

Out of respect to those that we love, there is a simple order that is an unwritten law when is comes to spilling the beans on important news: spouse, family, close friends, the world. As far as I’m concerned, the gray area starts right after family. Proximity often comes first out of convenience when it comes to friends, but there are often those far-away close friends that deserve a phone call as soon as the story breaks.

This hierarchy can cause some moments where we are forced to give a little white lie to coverup or attempt to change the subject and hope to avoid compromising our secret.

For instance, back to the night we found out and I was at the church meeting. I needed to talk to my friend Adam afterward (remember the hob nobbing) and I told him that I had to run because Julie asked me to come home as soon as possible. Well, I saw him the next evening and he asked, “So why did Julie need you to run home?” Doh!! Now, you are probably already asking why I set myself up like that by even telling him that I had to run home, but remember that I didn’t know anything for sure yet (and who would have guessed he would ask me about it anyway). I responded and told Adam that Julie was packing for San Francisco the next day and wanted me to come home before she went to bed. It was partially true… and he didn’t ask anymore questions. Whew!

Adam, I know you are reading this now and laughing. 🙂

Julie and I both have this insatiable desire to tell SOMEONE! So with every person we interact with, especially the people we know and love, it is a consious decision to hold back what is at the forefront of our minds.

Today will be tough. Julie’s mom is picking her up from the airport and it will be the first time she has seen her since we found out. She tells me that “she is ready to NOT tell her.” They chat about EVERYTHING at 90mph, so this will be a big deal for her to hold back.

Later tonight we are having a party at our house for all of our cousins and siblings of our generation. Needless to say, lots of close family members in one place and the timing couldn’t be worse. It is pretty commonplace for Julie to have a beer or glass of wine when people come over to hang out, so tonight could be interesting if she passes over the alcohol for a soda or glass of water and someone calls her on it. My vote right now is Diana Beth (Julie’s youngest sister)… we shall see.

There will no doubt be other situations where we will have to play our cards right in order to avoid situations that will bring out that Julie is pregnant. So, to all of you that are reading this now, we apologize for the white lies and misdirection that occurred during our weeks of secrecy.

-RB

UPDATE:

Nobody noticed or questioned Julie not drinking any alcohol last night. I guess we had enough people around distracting Diana Beth that she never noticed Julie with only a soda and not a beer.

We won’t have to hold out too much longer. We have the first doctor’s visit on Tuesday, where we find out if it’s official.

Wow… Julie decided to take a pregnancy test this evening while I was attending a church function, and I got an interesting text message that said, “Seriously…. I really need you to come home as soon as possible.” I questioned whether or not she was okay, and she advised me that she was in fact okay, but I was not allowed to “hob nob” afterward. Apparently I have a reputation.

There was still about 20 minutes left in our meeting discussion, and my deductive reasoning began to spin all the implications of her request to rush home. After all, I knew that she was packing for her San Francisco trip and supposedly making some peach cobbler from a couple prime candidates we had leftover from the food we took to the lake this past weekend. I sent an inquiry to her, “Is it the peach cobbler?” and she replied, “No… so much better.”

I have to tell you that the FIRST thought in my head is that she had taken a pregancy test and could not wait to tell me when I got home. I knew it in my gut.

The discussion I was involved in at the moment was about “belief”. We read Mark 9 and the story of the mute boy that the disciples were unable to heal. After the failed attempts by the disciples, Jesus comes along, and the Father of the boy says to him, “I believe; help my unbelief!”. Jesus then casts out the spirit within the boy and he is healed. The disciples inquired why they could not cast out the spirit within the boy, and Jesus replies, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”

Julie and I have been tested in our faith during the past 18 months (or so) that we have tried to have a baby. We have both believed from the bottom of our hearts that we are meant to be parents, and we had begun to question God’s plan for us. As far back as 6 months ago, we began to talk about our frustrations with our closest friends and family, and they all have offered their prayers. We had already been to the doctors to be tested, and aside from medical assistance, this was all we had left.

As the months passed and other friends were announcing their pregnancies to us, we felt a bit more frustration and anger, not towards the new parents-to-be, but towards God. We knew we needed to continue praying, but now the humbling sentiment of prayer was turning to complacency and resentment. “Lord, I believe in you; help my unbelief!” — these were the only words that truly expressed how I felt when all the other prayers felt insincere.

Back to this evening…
I DID have some people to talk to after the meeting, but I would not have called it “hob nobbing” or loitering. I’ve never felt more nervous on the way home. As I parked in the garage, I turned off the car and whispered to myself, “Please, Lord, let it be true.” I walked inside and there sitting next to the couch was a positive pregnancy test and Julie jumped to her feet to hug me. We both cried.

To all of you that prayed for us, we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

-RB

PS – “Hello world” was the default headline for this first post when I setup this blog. As a programmer, I see this text in EVERY coding example, and it gets old. However, I reconsidered when I put it in perspective of new life and the blog of a child that has just been introduced… his first words are, “Hello world!”