Jake

Jake at 1 Month

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Jake is such a sweet baby!  Who knows if this will stick, but for right now he is a dream.

His unofficial weight is 11 pounds 3 ounces.  He is one solid chunk of sweet baby.

He is out of newborn diapers already, and out of newborn clothes.  Boo.  (Which means he is wearing size 1-2 diapers and size 0-3 month clothes).

Other than that I don’t have much to report.  He is sleeping like a champ and only wakes me up twice each night.  The best part is that he goes right back to sleep after he wakes up.  Like I say, heaven.

He is sleeping in his crib most of the night but usually sleeps one portion in the swing. 

Love you sweet boy!!

Featured, Jake

Jake David Baldwin

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It’s a boy!!! The waiting and speculation is finally over. Jake was born at 12:28pm, weighing 8lbs, 14oz and coming in at 21.5″.

Scheduled c-section babies do not typically have much of a birth story, as was our experience with Alison. This time we changed it up and opted to NOT find out the sex of the baby. We were set up for either scenario, so why not spice it up a little? (For the record, I always said boy).

Friday, June 14th finally arrived!!  We were finally going to meet the newest member of our family.

Praise the Lord, this was another uneventful birth story.  Randy and I dropped the big kids off at school and headed for the hospital.  As soon as I walked in those familiar doors I could feel myself relax.  This was it.

We got checked in and all of my fears started to ease.  IV went great (last time it was a nightmare and almost the most painful thing).  I spoke to the anesthesiologist and when I told him about my reaction to the medication given to me with Ali’s birth he knew exactly what happened and what medicine caused the reaction.  (For the record, “Reglan”.  Reglan is the medication given to me last time that made me so miserable).  All of the doctors, nurses and staff were amazing.  And let me just brag on my doctor.  She was amazing.  She was in the O/R early and when they put in the spinal anesthesia she talked to me and held my hands since Randy isn’t allowed in until after that point.  We talked about her upcoming wedding and her fiance.  It was just so personal and nice.

Then it was finally time.  Praise the Lord for the right mix of medication.  No anxiety, no heart burning, no stress…just waiting.  I remember how bright the lights felt.  How exposed I felt laid out on the table.  How I had never really noticed these things before because with Reed I was a little drugged up and with Alison I felt so anxious and had the burning all up and down my arms. How thankful I was to have Randy by my side.  I have never relied on him as much as I did the last 8 weeks of this pregnancy.  I was just so thankful that he is my husband and dad to these kids. 

The plan was for Dr. Brozena to pull the baby out, hand him/her to the nurse, and they would come show me if it was a boy or a girl.  No one would say anything first.  I would get to see first hand.  And friends, that’s exactly what happened.  They brought my sweet baby to me and it was a huge sweet boy.  I obviously cried intense tears of joy.  I could barely breathe because it just felt so good.  He was here, he was safe, and he was perfect. 

There was still a tiny bit of drama.  It took forever for her to sew me up.  As Dr. Brozena was leaving the O/R she stopped and told me that we needed to talk.  She had trouble sewing me up and she was a little concerned.  I’m not going to lie…I heard her, but I couldn’t have cared less at that moment.  I had my boy and we were both just fine.

The next morning when she came to check on me she told me more details.  I had been contracting for 3 or 4 weeks.  The contractions were so real that I started timing them on several occasions.  And what happens when you start contracting…your uterus thins.  When she went to open up my uterus it split open like a grape.  The tissue was so thin that it opened on contact.  Then, when she went to sew it up it kept tearing.  Yeah.  Tearing. That doesn’t sound or feel good.  She wasn’t able to sew it up correctly.  She had to take tissue from my upper uterus and attach it to my bladder in order to sew me up.  She said she is still ok with us having a 4th baby, but I can’t get pregnant for an entire year and if I start to have contractions we will deliver at 37 weeks to make sure I am safe.  Randy isn’t such a fan of this situation (and neither am I).  Luckily, we have a whole year to enjoy the babies we have and not worry about whether or not we will add one final baby to the Baldwin clan.

Welcome to the family Jake!!!  I already love you so much.

Jake

Week 38

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I was put on ‘modified’ bedrest at my doctor’s appointment on June 4th.  My blood pressure was high and Dr. Brozena mentioned that I needed to slow down.  Obviously I couldn’t slow down much at home with my two crazy big kids, so that meant working from home would be a good option.  Luckily, my bosses were accommodating and from that day on I didn’t have to work from the office. (Sadly, I still had to work from home…and our company made a huge asset purchase effective June 1st, so there was a ton of work to be done)

June 10th was my next appointment and by this day I.was.totally.over.being.pregnant.  Seriously.  Get this child out of me!!  I actually cried in the exam room because I still was only dilated to a 1, my blood pressure was back to normal, and there was zero reason to deliver baby #3 any earlier than we had planned.  My sweet doctor was so compassionate and had the scheduler check right then and there to see if there was an opening for c-section delivery on Friday instead of Monday.  Praise the Lord there was!!!  (She was on-call that weekend too.  It was meant to be).

Fast forward to Thursday night.  All I wanted was to have a nice relaxing night at home.  Give the big kids their baths, read stories, put them to bed.  You know, like a fairytale.  That is NOT what happened.  I had to cover west coast pricing for my boss.  Usually that means I work from home until 7 or so.  Oh, but not that night.  That night we had one problem after another.  It ended with me sobbing and still working on technical issues at 9pm.  That’s right, 9pm.  Randy put the kids to bed while I was on the phone with IT, my boss and the field reps because SAP wasn’t working and price changes weren’t posted.  I’m pretty sure that isn’t what my doctor had in mind when she put me on modified bed rest.  I’m pretty sure that was terrible for my blood pressure.  I fell asleep that night feeling totally defeated, pissed off and also sad.  Pitiful.  Just pitiful.

Randy, Reed

Wimberley Rodeo

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“Rodeo talk” in our family starts in January. When we are prepping for Alison’s birthday, Reed inevitably will start talking about when HIS birthday is. We tell him: Ali’s birthday, then rodeo, then your birthday. He will go on-and-on about that series of events until they all come to pass.

Rodeo certainly was not as big of a deal in my family growing up. But that was not the case for Julie and hers. That event has certainly been talked up more to Reed than I ever was a part of, and because of it, Reed looks forward to rodeo. And it’s not all talk, either. When we sit down in the arena and the tractors, horses, calves and bulls are out, Reed is in a trance. His eyes are totally glued on what is happening in front of him. He really does love it, even more than we love going.

After finding out how much Reed loved the rodeo, my boss offered us seats in his box at the Wimberley Open Pro Rodeo this past weekend. We were leery of the event coming to fruition after having torrential downpours on Friday night and into Saturday morning, but it held off for the afternoon and evening, so we made the trip out there.

First we stopped at Brewster’s Pizza, just south on RR12, to meet our group and grab a bite. We got to the arena and saw how DEEP the mud in the arena was and how interesting this was going to make it for the animals and cowboys. Some competitors even dropped out for safety precautions (mostly team ropers and steer wrestlers). We saw plenty of wild rides and falls because of the severe condition of the arena, but for us spectators, it was a beautiful night for a rodeo. And Reed is STILL talking about it.

Alison

Ali’s Big Girl Bed

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Well, shortly after setting up Ali and Reed in the same room, Alison began having “bed envy”. There were a few times were Reed slept in our bed for a weekend nap, so Ali took the chance to sleep in Reed’s bed. Once she got the taste of the bigger space and freedom from the crib, there was no looking back. In fact, this kinda backfired when she fought and cried at night when she wanted to sleep in Reed’s bed again.

IMG_4813So, we made the same progression as we did with Reed. First we took the side off the crib to see how much she would roll, and to get her used to staying in bed when we ask her to lay down. We are certain we got very lucky with Reed in this respect since he NEVER got out of his bed at night. To our surprise, she actually rolled out of her bed less than Reed did. But we did catch her one morning UNDERNEATH the bed and still asleep!! (Many of her Baldwin relatives have similar stories from their youth, so this only added to the legacy)

Over the next few weeks, Ali did very well (all things considered) adapting to the new bed. The challenges were more centered around getting the two of them settled down for bedtime in the same room. We have gone back and forth putting Ali down first or just getting both of them in the room to settle down at the same time

This past weekend, we actually made the jump to Ali REAL “Big Girl” bed. We have actually had it in the garage for some time now, since Julie bought it on a bargain she couldn’t refuse. So, I took the day off of work to rearrange their room and switch to her new bed.

She looks so tiny in this new twin-size bed, but she is certainly happy and doing well.

Julie

My Easter touch with God

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I’m not sure why I haven’t told many people about this experience.  The only thing I can come up with is that it was one of the most profoundly personal and spiritual moments of my life.  I guess something about that truth hits you hard and makes you protect it more.  I’m ready to share now.

 

Easter Sunday.  We all know how I feel about Easter.  Most magical, spiritual, redemptive and important day of the year.  This Easter was extra special for me. 

My whole family unit was in church together on Easter Sunday.  I came to church armed with snacks and books and a few quiet toys for the kids hoping they would stay occupied and relatively quiet through the service.  This time my need for their silence was more about my need to hear the Word and be in worship than about making sure others around me weren’t annoyed by my kids.  During worship I took turns holding one kid in the aisle so we could sing, dance, and watch Mark (our worship leader and one of Reed’s favorite people).  There was a lady across the aisle who was worshipping with her family.  She kept turning around to watch us.  (I figured she was just noticing how cute my kids looked, because boy did they look cute!)

Fast forward to the end of the service.  I repeated my strategy of taking the kids to the aisle one at a time to finish the service.  At the very end I was holding Ali (and let’s be honest, I was a little teary because Easter service and the song “Paid it All” slay me every single time) and I noticed the same lady just watching us.  She wasn’t even trying to be discreet.  Again, I patted my self on the back for dressing my kids so cutely and that they behaved through the whole church service. 

When the service ended she made a bee line for me.  She wrapped her arms around me and gave me the most sincere and genuine hug.  She spoke into my ear and said, ‘I am a complete stranger and you don’t know me.  I have been watching you this whole morning and I just want you to know that there is the MOST INCREDIBLE light shining directly onto you.’  She continued to tell me that she has never in her life seen anything so pure, and holy in her life.  She said, ‘these words are not mine.  I was told to come speak to you and tell you how special and important you are.  Jesus is literally shining his light on you and I can’t take my eyes off of it.’  (Obviously I was crying terribly by this point, but then she did something even more amazing).  She took Alison’s hand, looked her in the face, and said to her ‘you have one amazing Momma.  I want you to know that.’  Those last words hit me so hard because in this mothering world we have such a tendency to focus all of our pride and sense of accomplishment on our kids.  In the midst of that we sometimes need to be reminded that WE are God’s children.  He doesn’t want to let that be buried in our constant need to mother the little ones.  We are still so worthy of his love, grace and mercy.

This moment meant more to me than I will ever be able to describe.  I am not a writer and I won’t pretend to be one.  Let me just say that in that holiest of moments I felt the presence of God in a way I have never felt before or since.  I know she was speaking truth when she stated that these weren’t her words.  I could literally hear God speaking through her. 

Randy came over shortly after because he watched the whole scene unfold but couldn’t hear anything.  He was floored once he heard the story. 

Little did I know, I think God was trying to prepare me for a time of spiritual warfare that would follow in the days following Easter.  I don’t know if anyone else has felt the kind of warfare I am referring to, but it is so intense and so specific.  Once you are aware of what is happening there is no question that it is spiritual warfare.  I have been through it before so luckily I was able to notice what was happening the 4 or 5 days after Easter.  I truly believe God was giving me a tool, or a weapon if you will, to fight the enemy.  Several times in the week after Easter I reflected on the words she spoke to me and the peace and light I felt in that moment.  I know this reflection helped me to fight the battle at hand.

Why do I bring this up now?  Well, I can feel another episode of spiritual warfare inside of myself.  The last 2 days have been hard.  The enemy chooses to attack me by telling me I am not enough.  ‘I’m not a good employee, I’m not a good mother, I’m not a good friend or sister or daughter, and most of all…why do I think I can accomplish the things in life I want to accomplish?  Who do I think I am?  Am I better than others?  Why can’t you just accept that you are mediocre at best and definitely not a loved and cherished child of God?’  These thoughts are literally thrust into my brain and I can.not.escape.  No matter what I do.  

Last night I was laying in bed trying to fight off the enemy and these hateful thoughts.  Usually when this happens I just pray for help.  I don’t have any intellectual words to say or anything other than ‘please help me!’.  Last night I was blessed with the memory of my Easter story.  All I remember before falling asleep was the light from that church service. 

I have no idea why I’m sharing this.  I really don’t.  I just needed to document it somewhere.  I’m sure all 3 of the people who read this blog have stopped reading by now, but thanks for hearing me out.  If you think of it, pray for me.  Pray that this Mother’s Day I will beat this battle and stop feeling like such a failure in all that I do.  I know I’m not a failure.  It’s all a lie.  But it’s the worst kind of lie that I alone can’t shut down.

Jake

Baby Update

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Yesterday was the sonogram and check up I have been a little anxious about. All is well with baby and with me. I am in the middle of my 33rd week and baby is measuring anywhere from 34 1/2 weeks to 35 weeks, so yes. This will probably be a big baby (no surprise there). They estimated that baby weighs around 5 pounds 4 ounces.

I didn’t know this until last week, but apparently there is a new medical rule that you can not schedule a c-section prior to 39 weeks without a medical reason or the medical board will ding the doctor’s record. I’m not saying I don’t understand the rule, too many people schedule c-sections really early just because it’s convenient or because they are tired of being pregnant. I get why that is wrong…but I really don’t want to still be pregnant at the end of June. I was hoping for the beginning of June.
Anyhow, the doctor said that with this new rule they are doing more unscheduled c-sections because (shocker) women go into labor before 39 weeks. We will see how things go for me. As of now, my belly is still measuring 2 weeks big. But my blood pressure is good, weight gain is good, and I still feel great.
The biggest surprise for me at this sonogram was getting to look at baby’s face. I haven’t had a sonogram this late before and I loved seeing a chubby little baby face instead of a skeleton looking face. One look at that baby and we all think it looks just like Alison. Makes me wonder if it’s a girl. That sweet face looks like a girl. But I will still guess that it’s a boy. In 5 weeks (or less) we will know for sure!!!

Family

Helotes Cornyval Parade 2013

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I’m not a big parade person, but the Helotes Cornyval parade holds a special place in my childhood. It was close enough to my parents’ house that when we were old enough, my sisters and I would ROLLERBLADE down the road, and then up the parade route to find a spot to sit and watch. We would often pass by friends that were already setup to watch and visit with them for a bit, and then make our way down the road. It was true symbol of growing up in a small town and tight-knit community. I have fond memories of going to that event every year as a family.

As you can imagine, with a family of my own now I’m excited to give my own kids even a little glimpse of that.

Here is the full album.

Reed

A day with Duke

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Reed is completely into trucks and trailers, and any combination of the two. Every day at school he is coloring a different variation of a truck and a trailer. For example, he showed me his “Rapunzel” version the other day… a typical truck with a popup camper in the back, and the figure inside each had VERY long blonde hair (he was very clear that it was NOT Mommy, either).

So, Reed loves trucks.

He is very fortunate to have a Grandpa that actually DRIVES a big tool truck. Reed talks about the tool truck and the RV pretty frequently. So, Duke came to pick Reed up in the morning and spent the day out on his route in the big truck… but first, a stop to see Pete and get a haircut.

I’m not sure who had the bigger smile on his face, Duke or Reed, but one thing is for sure… our kids have a good life and family that love them.