The Baldwin household has had a rough 2 weeks.
Last Monday I found out the following things:
1. My good friend’s grandmother (who I have known for 15 years) passed away. Her death wasn’t tragic, but it was still a loss and therefore humbling and sad.
2. One of our pastor’s wives had a miscarriage. Nothing good about that.
3. My friend Anna’s 34 week old baby died in the womb. And she had to deliver that sweet little girl on Mother’s Day. My heart aches in ways I can’t even understand. Maybe it is because I have 2 healthy living children, and she doesn’t…but I hurt so badly for her. I can’t even put it into words. But Anna and her husband Josh can. These two incredible people spoke at Isabel’s funeral. They spoke about their faith in God. They spoke about how her death has helped them to know God in a way they had never known him before. What a loving God we serve.
Fast forward to this week.
1. Tuesday my mom fell down. She went to the doctor on Wednesday and is now in a cast for 6 weeks. She broke 4 bones in her foot which will heal, but it changes all of our summer plans. She is terrible at sitting still.
2. I got sick. Sicker than I have ever been in my entire life. I came home early on Tuesday. My fever was so intense I was having hallucinations. (no joke). I couldn’t open my eyes, but I couldn’t sleep. And I couldn’t walk. And my throat was on fire. Swallowing was like when you accidentally scratch a new sunburn. Misery. Wednesday I finally took my temperature. 104degrees. Off to the ER we went. The awesome doctor gave me shots and the throat was better within a matter of hours. But the fatigue and the headache would not cease. Misery I tell you. I finally was able to walk across my bedroom without holding onto something tonight. I hadn’t eaten in 2 days except an applesauce cup. Worst sickness of my life.
3. Wednesday I found out my friend past away. He was my age and his death is so tragic. I still haven’t wrapped my head around his death and can’t really talk about it much.
As the title says…I can’t take anymore. No more pain, no more sadness. I just need some happiness.
And then I remember all the good things. I WILL (and did) get better, I’m not terminally ill. My mom will heal. Anna and Josh still lost Isabel, but they are already using their loss to glorify God. How amazing. And let’s not forget the little fat kid and the stinkin’ baby…Light of my life those two. I am thankful that she has learned to sleep through the night. And that Reed is still enamored with Ali. He is so protective of her and loves to make her laugh. And Randy is a great father to those babies.
Life is great…but I could really use a break from all the pain.