Thursday afternoon Dr. Lewis Purnell died. He was my pediatrician. He was my mom’s boss for many years. He was the man I chose to care for my children. For all of the people who never met him I am sorry for you. There really aren’t any words to describe how completely amazing he was.
6 weeks ago he was diagnosed with a fairly rare and aggressive form of cancer. He was only given 6 months to live. It was an incredibly painful battle and for that, I am thankful he went quickly. Unfortunately he was young and his youngest child is still in high school. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. I took Alison to him for her 6 month checkup in July and he was fine. That was the last time I saw him.
Dr. Purnell is the type of doctor that didn’t just assess whether or not your child had an ear infection. He would come in the room and take charge (in a good way). He would answer my questions before I could ask them. He not only diagnosed what was wrong but would tell you what to look for if it gets worse, tell you what the baby is feeling, what to expect as it heals or gets worse, how long it should last etc. He would tell me all these things before I could even ask.
At well baby visits he didn’t just give shots, chart growth and tell you nutritional guidelines. He guided you on what you should be doing as a parent in this stage. For example, when Reed was in the office for his nine month checkup Dr. Purnell started coaching me on discipline. Obviously I don’t have any experience with other doctors, but I doubt that all doctors take that kind of time and care with their patients.
His philosophy on raising kids matched perfectly with mine. I don’t like to follow rules just because they are rules. I like to make informed decisions and he completely supported that. For example, I know the guideline was to keep your child rear facing until they were 12 months old (and yes, I know it has changed to 2 years old now). I asked Dr. Purnell his opinion about that when Reed was about 9 months old. His response “yes, it is safest for the child to be rear facing until 12 months. It is also safest for a 40 year old man to be rear facing, but that isn’t very practical.” He told me that he turned his own children when they were 11 months old and that he agreed it was fine for me to do so also. Like I say, I know this isn’t the kind of approach all parents would take, but it was in complete agreement with my parenting attitude.
You wouldn’t believe how much losing my favorite doctor has affected me. I’m at a loss for how to pick a new doctor. I really want to bury my head in the sand and not even try, but that’s not an option. More than anything I hurt for his sweet family. He was such a fantastic leader in the office and an even more fantastic head of his family. He was so full of life and had SO much left to offer this world.
When I laid down to go to sleep on Thursday (Randy was still in the living room) all I kept thinking was that his sweet wife has to lay down alone forever. I don’t want to think about how empty and lost she must feel. (Randy you aren’t allowed to die before me). And her pain is forever. He was her partner, and now she is alone. He won’t be around to walk his daughter down the aisle. He won’t ever hold his grand babies. And what an awesome grandfather he would have been.
One final funny story…when I was a kid (like 10 or so) my mom still worked at Dr. Purnell’s office. My dad is self employed and didn’t have health insurance (don’t ask). He got stung by a bee and it was swelling up and making him nervous. So what did he do? He went to see Dr. Purnell of course!! And of course Dr. Purnell cheerfully treated him and sent him on his way. We still laugh about that one.
I will leave you (after this super long post) with some pictures of Dr. Purnell with my kids. Dr. Purnell I miss you greatly. I can’t think about you and your family without sobbing. I don’t know how this community will continue without you, but I pray you will watch out for my little ones from heaven. And I’m thankful you are dancing pain free up there with Jesus and my sister.
